Who watches horror films? Show of hands! I know I do. I’m quite a freaky, twisted girl at heart really. My brothers have shown me the likes of Psycho and Terminator 2 at such a very young age. Just like growing up with 3 older brothers, I’ve also grown up with the horror films they subjected me to. I’m kind of thankful really, because now I have little to no fear of horror films and I’m not sure that’s such a good thing…
You see, maybe I would be more frightened if horror films weren’t so predictable. They all have the same gruesome order. They all pretty much start off in the same way – A group of youths dying to get out to wherever it is they’re going just to have a few days of being wild. They usually invest in a shit load of drugs and alcohol and then end up having sex. There’s often a woman or two that can’t resist parading their tits around and committing to lesbianism just to show off. For some reason, the producers of these horror films seem to think there’s only one target audience – Young males. This isn’t the case, as I know plenty of girls or older people, (like my parents) that would like to kick back and become transfixed in a good horror film. So why so much ****ing nudity!? If I wanted to watch some vain blonde chick getting her boobs motorboated I would have rented a porn movie. Also, why only female nudity? I guess women are still seen as sex objects in the media, but that’s a whole other topic.
Female nudity isn’t my only issue with horror films however. It’s the RIDICULOUS ways in which the characters act. It’s so poorly unrealistic. No one goes to the police, people trust strangers too easily and the characters always wonder off on their own in strange places – You only need to watch Hostel for that shit! I’d love to watch a horror film where people are really tested, where the characters do everything right and they’re still being hunted down. No one shouts out into the silence like an idiot and reveals where they’re hiding, and no one meets an exotic, good-looking stranger and trusts them like the click of a finger just because they’re hot. On the topic of “hotness”, people don’t need to be a 10/10 for me to enjoy the film. Let’s have some realistic people from the real world, not fake-boobed daddy’s girls and six-pack sex addicts.
Now I understand there are horror films out there that can do it right. Perfect Getaway for example, was fantastic. They didn’t need nudity and stupid characters to make a good film. They relied on strong, interesting characters to deliver one hell of a twist that I was not expecting. It was a great example of a thrilling cat and mouse style film. I also really enjoyed the psychological element to the film toward the end where we discover the intentions of one of the couples. (Trying not to give too much away here for those who haven’t seen it). What’s more, there was justice! – Which brings me onto my next topic…
It really winds me up when everyone dies at the end of the film and the villain gets away! Okay, I’m not too bothered if the villain survives to cause havoc in a sequel, but when no one survives I just don’t see the point! What was the point in me sweating it out on a hot summers night, rooting for the hero to get away and exact some kind of evil, twisted revenge for them to just die in a silly, disappointing way. I don’t want to sit through an entire film only to be brought to one hell of an anticlimax whereby the lead character gets his head sliced off in two seconds flat.
In conclusion, I want to see more films like Perfect Getaway. I want to see that these films were planned out so well that my brain hurts. That every little aspect of the film comes together to create an astonishing, unexpected ending. I want to see normal-looking people with hidden heroic traits that is brought out in times of desperate need. I want to see young groups of people that can keep it in their pants, and women that respect themselves. It’s like producers have gotten lazy. It’s like they think they’re only going to attract perverts nowadays so why bother putting heads together to shock the world? Well enough is enough, lets bring back real horror films with the kind of plot that gives teenagers sleepless nights. I want to feel the way I felt about Psycho! I want to be able to hear the eerie music playing on my telly downstairs and know what film it’s from. I want to be able to hide behind my fingers again, because after all, that’s what horror films are all about!
ps: all pictures from internet source.